best year ever

this year i realised some people i used to consider as 'close friends' - and i did try to be there (when i could. but there's only so much i could do) for em if they're down, layan-ing when they're bored, try to be on the same wavelengths, always including em in any plans/keeping em and myself uptodate - were probably never friends with me anyways. like yesterday's paper i'm no longer of use and should just be chucked out. i know i shouldn't mind and i should just move on, but seriously?

while i spent countless hours listening to you as you poured your heart out when you were at a low and digging my brain thinking of advices to give, holding my patience and suppressing my frustration at how easily you brushed them all off, convincing myself you're just in a bad mood and don't actually mean it when you kept accusing me of mocking you; i think i need to stop ignoring the fact that your picture of me is just that - useless. since now you have the bestest friends you could ever ask for, thanks for forgetting me.

and you. as we acted as if nothing happened and continued on where we left off (when it was all fine and dandy), you just have to ask if everything's alright. after you crushed my confidence and pushed me away 10thousand times, really? thanks for showing me what the best and worst feel like.